I have only been married 9 months. I wouldn't be married at all yet if he didn't push the date. I wanted to live with each other for a year first, but he insisted on getting married right away so I did. I love him so why not? Now he told me he is thinking about leaving. We had a long talk and I tried to understand where he was coming from. I do to a certain extent. We are young and have our whole lives ahead of us. I always believed that you should do what makes you happy, as we only get one life. If him being on his own makes him happy, then he should do what he feels in his heart is best for him. Even if it sucks for me. I don't want him to go. I love him and I wish he could say that he was positive he was still in love with me, but he can't. But I am just so confused. I didn't know he felt this way until yesterday. I thought things were generally fine. That makes it hurt so much more. What did I do wrong? Why aren't I good enough anymore? I used to be his world. I want that back. I know he cares deeply for me. We told each other that if anything was to happen, we'd still be best friends. But I don't want that because I don't want it to come to that. He won't really kiss me anymore. He used to intimate kisses and now he just cuts it off and smiles awkwardly when I kiss him. He wasn't having these doubts until he started his new job. Right now he's in training which is pretty much like school for 5 weeks. I think he's seeing how much people like his personality, and now it's changing him. He wants to be crazy and have everyone like him. I think even other women. I'm just so scared he's going to break my heart. I wouldn't know what to do. I have almost no friends here. Ahh I'm just so torn. I don't even know what to say. That's why this whole post has been kind of a jumble. I guess I'll just see how he acts today after work.
Yeah we're giving our relationship one month to see how it goes. One month... :(
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